BFFs

I see where Emerson is coming from with his friend theories, but I have a few suggestions. I realize that in a perfect world we would all think only our own thoughts, tell our friends everything we were thinking, and we would let nature run wild and free. However, I don't live in that world, and I do not know many people who do. Therefore, I just have a few modifications. I attempted the Emerson friend project on someone outside school. I think that it's an interesting idea, but I wouldn’t use it in my actual life. It’s just not realistic to go around telling everyone you know, whether they’re your best friend in the world or just a friendly acquaintance exactly what you think about them, their looks, and their personality. I tried a modified version, and honestly, I wasn’t that impressed with the results. I think that there is a time to be honest and a time to simply put on a happy face and be polite. No excuses, completely I don’t care what you think honestly can be a great thing, and every person comes to a time when you need to stop sugar coating and just tell them the truth. However, if you don’t choose wisely in how you approach these types of situations, you can end up very disappointed. People are used to friendly compliments, and casual meaningless conversations. You have to ease them into complete honesty. Further more there are times when life needs to be happy and light, and not so serious. Telling someone exactly what you think can be really good, but there’s also something nice about “Hey I like your shoes.” Or “have you finished your exegesis yet?” It’s how we get to get close to one another. We don’t just attack the way people are, even if your not doing it to be rude. Because if you go about this the right way you can end up with a mostly Emerson honesty friendship, you just can’t masquerade around as a crazy person, going up and analyzing and identifying everyone’s deepest emotions, fears, and insecurities.

Now I am not writing this to attack what Emerson is saying, because most everything he’s putting out there is good stuff like when he says, “a friend is a person for whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal , that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought.” This is seriously my favorite quote in everything Emerson. It is exactly what I think when I think about a good friend. To say that it is possible for you to be so close with someone that you may “think aloud”. That is pretty big. That’s when honesty and that idea of “hey here’s what I’m thinking, you can take it or leave it” attitude is the most perfect thing in the world. It’s priceless to be able to actually just sit and not dilly dally around with silly things. That again are good for certain occasions, but deep down we all need someone to share our thoughts with. It is the worst thing ever to be alone in your mind…because you start thinking and no one is there to just listen. I think that its good to be able to just say what you’ve been thinking. That doesn’t mean that if you’ve been thinking something stupid the other person can’t slap some sense back into you. That’s why we need friends. I mean we should be self-reliant, but at the same time, we should also be able to accept that ever so often we need a reality slap from someone who generally cares, someone who knows your inner thoughts, who knows you, and who knows what you need to hear. Sometimes these kind of sharing experiences don’t require any talking just someone to listen to all our pent up, and ever so random thoughts.